More WIFYR today. It was my turn to have the first twenty pages of my manuscript critiqued. All in all, it went about as well as I'd anticipated. I'd marked some things on my copy and as expected, those were brought to my attention by the group. They also brought up some other interesting points... Namely, how Ethel flinching when she touched Gavin's wrist was "too obvious" and "sickeningly romantic" and a cause for eye rolls... while I thought it was pretty clear that she was flinching because he's covered in boiling acid and it hurts to touch him. Also, she did specifically mention that she didn't find him attractive. Ah, well.
Two other people sitting near me were critiqued as well. I think we all were able to share our thoughts and learn a lot from hearing others- the woman who wrote "and the Shadow of Darkness would be my ally" was quite surprised to hear that I couldn't take the villain seriously, which I thought was funny. I think after I pointed it out to her, she realized how blatant and simple her villain was. He might pass in a middle grade piece, but not in YA, I think! If that manuscript gets published someday, I'll bet it will be a lot stronger! And hopefully I can look at my own in the same way.
