Wow. I can't believe I was raised by parents who don't believe in preserving the sanctity of marriage. What awful people they must be. I now understand why Dad always acts surprised when one of us kids separates him from Mom at the movie theaters.
How dare my parents allow their children to sit between them on the church benches? Don't they realize that the bonds between husband are wife are sacred and ordained of God and that they should be sitting next to each other at all times? That their children sitting between them is disruptive to the spirit and not something to be admired, but instead something to be frowned upon, and fathers should be proud of shifting their seated children away from their mothers so two loving spouses may intertwine their fingers and share their moment together?
(Citations: My institute teacher)
This is hardly a joke. This is the knowledge I came away from class with today.
Help me.
