Chocolate Final

Demetria and I went to the store this morning. Our usual routine is to stop at Lee's, but this time we rode to the transit center, then crossed over to Smiths, bought some things we needed, and returned to the transit center. That was nice because there was a roof over our eyes (although it wasn't snowing today, but it's good to know for future reference) and because it took us twelve minutes to get back to Blue Square as opposed to, like, twenty-five. Good to know when you have perishables.

So awhile back, I lost two points on my second chocolate essay due to not following the five-paragraph format (I'd foolishly assumed it would be better to write the essay as if I actually cared about it, despite the fact that when I wrote the first essay, which was poorer by my personal standards, I received full marks due to following that format). If you ever want to feel talked down to, be a college student who wants to be a writer, has been writing for a decade, and then click open the instruction on how to write this essay and force yourself to read through a color-coded explanation of how to write an expository essay about liking your dog as if you were a first grader. Five times.

Anyway... That aside, I lost two points on that essay, and it looks like those two points cost me a letter grade. I am .22% away from the next letter. Awesome.

So, that was a bit of a blow to my ego... I gave it my best shot, but like a fool, I fell into the trap of studying what the teacher said we would need to know for the final, and ignored the items she said we wouldn't be tested on. Guess what was on the test. The boss of a major character in the "Smurfs" 2011 movie once said, "I fired [my last vice president of marketing] because he gave me what I asked for, not what I wanted". That's how I felt after I saw my instantly-graded score and my stomach dropped.

For the record, I didn't cheat on my final. Even though it would have been insanely easy, because after awhile no one was sitting in the computer lab behind me, and we were just taking the test on a normal browser, and all my teacher's PowerPoints were sitting right there one button click away, and the Internet tabs were available for quiet Google searches...

I wouldn't really have cheated. But sometimes I just need to let off steam. At least I got as high a grade as I did- it easily could have been worse, and much worse and I would have lost my scholarship. I probably should have studied harder. This was a really rough class, but now it's done.

Mom had asked me to call her after the test, so I did, and vented to her for a long time about how I was feeling. It stabs my heart to remember that last year, my teacher had all her quizzes open-note, and students could retake quizzes, and submit essays after the due date. I can't believe that's real. It seems so out-of-character for her. She was incredibly harsh and no-nonsense with us.

Stockton was very patient with me and let me rant to him about almost half the things on my 'Why Jane Eyre is an awful book' list. I didn't even get to the part about Jane coincidentally being fluent in the same language as her crush, but timeskipping the entire period when she learned this and all her other important skills, or all the things I hate about that pathetically desperate 'tug-their-heartstrings' ending because spoilers, or Rochester and Jane being able to communicate from a hundred miles away by screaming, or the answer to a round in Charades being "totally obvious", and yet requiring the other team to lean their heads together and debate for two minutes, and then pick bride for their guess instead of wedding. How does Jane attend an all-girl school for ten years and later claim she's never seen blood in her life is my biggest question. 

I loathe this book. Awful book. If I ever have to sit through another lecture about Jane being locked in the red room as an example of Gothic writing and a symbol of spirituality, I swear...

Stockton's English class was given four book options to read over winter break - Jane Eyre, Huckleberry Finn, Pride and Prejudice, and Grapes of Wrath - and he picked Pride and Prejudice. Apparently most of his classmates went with Jane Eyre, but he knew from previous rants how I felt about it, so he turned it down. He said his teacher didn't really sell Huck or Grapes, but that she really promoted Jane Eyre. Ha.

So, after we had our talk on the phone, I scooped some Blue Mint Aggie ice cream to drown my sorrows (Although Demetria was about to eat some before she realized it had cookie chunks in it, and she can't eat gluten, so she spooned her uneaten serving back in the box). I kind of sat listlessly for a bit, surfing the Internet and stuff (I like to relax by deciphering articles about Wolbachia pipientis), before I finally channeled my irritation and opened Google Docs. I... didn't know it was physically possible to write twenty-five decent pages in a single evening, but apparently I can. I'm... used to... averaging six per day, although that was back when I was still in high school.

I really like what I ended up with, which is good. I've never been fond of romance, but I'm a sucker for alternate personalities interrupting moments between lovers that were supposed to be cute. Evidently I can write flirtatiously when I want to, although what I'm really here for are the emotional confessions that, "I feel like you only like me for my freckles" and "B-but you're only acting nice to me so that you can become [insert position of power that one can achieve by marrying me]".

... I'm not sure if what I mean is really coming across here, but basically, I had a surprising amount of fun with that little short story. I've been letting my need to write build up in me for the last two weeks, at least, so I kind of just exploded and let it all out tonight. It's just very, very interesting that I ended up with quality work.